Paranormal Monthly
by The Group of One
Summary: The Scooby gang subscribe to a magazine sent out by Wolfram and Hart once a month. The magazine consists of Wolfram's Hit List and hot stories of the month. While reading it, they stumble across the infamous Winchesters. Stalking and humour ensues.HAITUS!
1. Octomber Issue

**Supernatural/AtS/BtVS**

**Summary**: The Scooby gang subscribe to a magazine sent out by Wolfram and Hart once a month. The magazine consists of Wolfram's 'Hit List' and hot stories of the month. While reading it, they stumble across the infamous Winchesters. Stalking and humour ensues.

**Pairings**: SpikeDean, AngelSam, FaithCastiel, BuffyDean, etc.

**A/N: ** The pairings are not actual pairings. Scooby and Angel groups never meet the Winchesters, so it's more like crushing on their photos and accomplishments. I might do a thing where they meet, if people want. Let me know. Also, the chapters are not long. Its pretty much just covering the scoobies etc reactions. To my knowledge, I am the only one who has written a fic like this, but if not, send me links? I'd love to read them.

**I HAVE THIS POSTED ON TTHFANFIC DOT ORG UNDER THUNDERHEAD.**

**Warnings:** mentions of Slash (no actual kissing, sex, etc). Stalking. Mentions of violence. Slight spoilers for Season 4 of Supernatural. Slight OOC ness.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own any characters or places from Supernatural, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or Angel the series. Supernatural belongs to Eric Kripke, BtVS and AtS belong to Joss Whedon.

**Paranormal Monthly**

**October Issue**

"Angel! Come and look at what I found!"

Angel sighed, his ears ringing from the exuberant shouting from Wesley. Brushing a hand over his pants, he walked out into the main office.

"Wesley found something useful. For once." Cordelia muttered to him, her gaze fixated on the surprisingly chipper ex-Watcher turned Hunter. Wesley was flipping through a magazine, Ooh-ing and Aah-ing over the images and articles within. He glanced up and grinned.

"They have a hit list for the most deadly hunters of the supernatural!"

"Who's on it?" asked Angel, leaning over the table slightly.

"Mm... let's see. I am number 45 from the list of... oh. 50." He pouted, "Um, Cordelia is ranked 50th due to her Seer abilities. You are apparently not classified for this list due to your vampiric status."

"Seriously?" Angel leaned over the magazine, "that's speciest."

"Who the hell is Chuck the Prophet?"

Angel and Wesley ignored Cordelia.

"Rules and regulations, old chap." Wesley pointed to a name on the list. "Faith is ranked 4th, Buffy 3rd."

"Wait. Isn't Buffy like, the big bad slayer? Why isn't she and Faith listed as first and second?" Cordelia asked, a frown on her face.

"Hm... Well, two fellows, brothers by the looks of their last names, are ranked as first and second. Dean and Sam Winchester."

Angel cocked his head to the side, "Why are they considered so deadly?"

Wesley inspected the column intently. "Apparently they have been raised as Hunters. Dean also reportedly went to Hell for a few months, and Sam has demon blood in him."

Cordelia snorted. "Lawyers. Always know everything."

"What?" Angel grabbed the magazine, flipping it shut. "Wolfram & Hart made this?"

"They wanted to help out their clientele, supposedly." said Wesley.

"All the same, we better keep an eye on it. Do Buffy and her gang know?" Angel headed towards the phone before they could reply.

Behind him, Wesley muttered to Cordelia, "Lucifer want's Sam's body."

There was the sound of a table being broken from behind them.

* * *

Spike was a very happy vampire. The Ponce had called to let the Scoobies know about a new magazine (two copies of which Spike currently had under his arm), and the bleach blond vamp had a new obsession.

Dean Winchester.

While flipping through the magazine, he had stumbled across a special on the Winchester brothers. As soon as his eyes had rested on the picture of Dean's mug shot, Spike was lost.

"If I go on a 'omicidal rampage, wonder if they'll drop by..."

He slammed in through the doors of the magic shop, grinning. "Oi! Watcher! I have what you asked for."

Buffy, Xander, Willow, and Faith were seated around the main counter, Dawn working the register. They glanced over at Spike, curious looks on their faces.

"Thank you, Spike." Giles handed over the cash, accepting the magazine from the grinning vampire.

Buffy peered over from her seat. "What's that?"

Giles flipped through it, replying "A magazine Angel called about. Wolfram & Hart published it."

"Oh? What's it about?" Willow walked over to Giles, accepting the magazine from him. "Ooh! Deadliest Hunters of the Supernatural? Hey, Buffy, you're ranked third."

"Who's first and second?" Dawn asked, leaning over the counter.

"Um, a Dean and Sam Winchester." Willow passed the magazine to Dawn.

"Why do they have a higher rank then me?"

Spike snorted as he flipped through his own copy, "Look at page 25, nibblet."

Dawn flipped through until she reached the page. In big bold letters written across several pictures of two young men was '**Winchester Report**'. "Wow. They have their own monthly article."

Faith snatched the magazine from Dawn, leering at the pictures of the brothers.

"Says here that they recently killed a demon named Azazel, another, higher ranked one named Alistair, Samhain, let loose Lucifer, and the Arch Angel Michael wants Dean's body." Faith read, her eyebrow cocked.

"What?! Bleeding pillock better keep his hands of Dean!" Spike glared at the report, his eyes flecked gold. He had not noticed that before!

Willow and Buffy exchanged looks, their eyebrows raised.

"Mm. Lucifer wants Sam's body."

Spike grinned. No wonder Angel had sounded so annoyed over the phone. Sam was just his type.

Faith continued reading, her eyebrows raising with each sentence. "These guys are pretty impressive hunters. Like, biblical proportions impressive. And they have a mysterious friend who randomly joins them. But whenever the photographers try to get a picture of him, the camera melts."

The Scoobies stared at each other. What?


	2. November Issue

**A/N: **So... I realized that I should have put Spoilers for season 4 AND 5 of supernatural... Oops. Oh, and those of you who watch supernatural, or to be precise, the episode this focus' on, Xander makes the same comment Sam did. I kinda see them being alike, so yeah...

**Warnings:** Spoilers for Season 4 and 5 of Supernatural. From now on, it's mentioning events in both seasons. "The Curious Case of Dean Winchester" is the focus of this chapter.

**November Issue**

The end of another month and a new magazine issue. Angel sighed contentedly as he grabbed the magazine from Cordelia's desk and made his way into his office.

Flipping through the magazine (vanity check: they published a 'Supernatural Traitors' list, and he was listed as number one), he reached the '**Winchester Report'** and promptly let out a long low growl.

A witch had played a poker game with Sam, bidding years of his life instead of money. Of course, being the supreme being that he is, Sam had managed to keep his life and restored his brother back to his usual perverted young self. Karma, being the bitch is was, stepped in, in the form of the he-witches girlfriend demanding to play the game herself. She lost (on purpose, if the article was anything to go by) and then died, leaving the witch alone. And Sam alive and well.

Alright, so he didn't need to kick he-witch ass.

Cordelia chose that moment to walk in. "Angel..."

Angel sighed. "Yes, Cordelia?"

"Are you done with the magazine yet? I've been gathering clippings on that Chuck the Prophet guy, and this issue has a short article on him."

"Yeah, sure." Angel passed over the magazine before turning his chair around, facing the closed window.

He should keep an eye on what Cordelia cut out.

**oOo**

Spike was not having a good day. He had been doused in green goo from some sort of slime demon, had his favourite shirt ruined by a rogue arrow, and then arrived at the paper stand to find that the last copy of Paranormal Monthly had been sold just before he arrived.

So, he had goop in his hair, his shirt was ruined, and there would be no Dean eye candy until next month.

Spike snarled, stalking down the streets to the Magic Shop. Throwing the doors open, he threw himself into a chair and brooded.

"Wow. Someone is channelling Angel." Dawn muttered, peering up from the magazine in front of her. "What's up with you?"

"Bloody magazine was sold out."

Dawn's eyebrows rose. Beside her, Xander laughed, "Not very observant, are you?"

"Wot the bloody 'ell is that supposed to mean?" Spike snarled, rising from his chair.

"Calm down, Spike." Faith muttered from across the room, "He means that Dawn has been reading the magazine all along and you were too far into brood land to notice."

"Give it here, nibblet." Spike grabbed the magazine from the young girl.

Flipping through it, ignoring the hit lists and trash talk on hunters, he reached the Winchester Report page.

Oh no bleeding way.

Some bastard witch turned Dean into an old man!

The demons at Wolfram & Hart had gone all out for this issue, a giant spread of Dean's 'old man' moments taking up a page, the other detailing his attempt to gain back the years taken from a family friend, his failure to do so, and the resulting events. He skimmed through the article until he reached the second to last paragraph. Which is where he froze.

Oh Hells no. That _bastard_ he-witch almost had Dean killed! (Spike conveniently ignored the fact that it was Deans fault for not looking after his hearts health). He should go out there and kick-

Xander burst out laughing. "He looks like emperor Palpatine!"

Spike snarled and pounced.

Xander shrieked.


	3. December Issue

A/N: So, I just kinda realized that this is kind of like a drabble series. The chapters are short and kind of but don't at the same time relate. Works for me. :)

Another note, yes, this chapter is supposed to end like this. Cas really is quite scruffy for an angel.

**December Issue**

Angel smiled contentedly- okay, scratch that- Angel paced his office, his arms clasped behind his back. Cordelia had gone out for a coffee (or a frappachino moco latte, or some crap like that) and promised to bring back the newest edition of Paranormal Monthly for him. That was two hours ago. He let out a low groan, running his hands through his hair.

"Oh Angel! I have something for you!"

Cordelia gasped as a black blur sped by her, ripping the magazine out of her hands. "Why, thank you, Cordelia. You're welcome Angel, no problem. Always glad to stand out in the cold waiting for your magazine."

"Thank you, Cordelia." Came Angels muffled reply.

He leafed through it, looking for the monthly Winchester Update. Spotting a flash of colour (Sam and Dean were the only ones that the magazine bothered to put in colour), he stopped and flipped back. Glancing over the picture and article on Dean, he flipped the page.

Angel froze. A growl rose in his throat as he stared at the images before him.

Sam. Tied naked to an alter (unfortunately, he couldn't see anything). A pack of demons crouching around him.

Sam. Still tied naked to an alter. A demon ogling him.

Oh Hells no.

Angel slammed the magazine down, storming out of the office, intent on destroying some demons who looked at people who they shouldn't look at.

A few minutes after he left, Cordelia peeked into the office. Noticing the open magazine on the desk, she sighed.

"Might as well let bleach head know that the newest article is out."

Picking up the phone, she called the Magic Shop. "Hey, Giles? Tell Spike that the newest article is out, and he might want to look at it."

**oOo**

After finishing his call with Cordelia, Giles hung up the phone and stepped out to get the magazine. By the time he got back, it was dark out and Spike had arrived. The rest of the Scoobies had already assembled.

"You might want to look at this, Cordelia said." He dropped the magazine down in front of the vampire, the page already open to Winchester Report. Sighing, he wandered off. No need to see their reactions.

Spike yelped.

Staring up at them from the photo(s) was Dean Winchester. Decked out in red boxers with HO HO HO written across the ass, Santa Hat cocked on his head, a glass of eggnog in one hand and a sawed off shotgun in the other, he was smirking at someone out of the cameras shot.

Spike gaped. "Bloody buggering Hell..."

"I second that," moaned Buffy, her gaze fixated on the delicious man in the photo. "I wonder what he was doing at the time to be in that outfit."

Spike flipped to the next page. "Well, that explains it." The two blonds stared at the naked Sam on alter picture.

Faith snatched the magazine from the table and quickly flipped through it. "They have to have their mysterious companion. Aha! Jackpo- Oh.... Whoa..."

"What is it?" Dawn asked, trying to peering over the older woman's shoulders.

Faith wordlessly turned the magazine towards them, her face shocked. In big bold letters across the page was '**The Truth About Castiel; Christmas Edition'**. "He's an angel."

"WHAT?!"

"Apparently that's why the camera melts whenever they tried to take a picture of him. They tried this one lens that allows angelic beings to be photographed, and it worked. It even showed his wings."

Xander sputtered. "Well... Damn."

"Yeah." Dawn stared at the picture of Castiel. "He's kinda... scruffy for an angel, isn't he?"


	4. January Issue

A/N: _Whoo-e. Been a while since I last updated, eh? Oops. Spoilers for: The Real Ghostbusters. Mu hahahaha. Oh, and yeah, the months are prolly really off, but hey. Who cares. Fanfics, hm?_

_On another note, I'm going to go over the previous chapters and make some minor changes and edits at some point._

**January Issue**

_In which there is Wesley beating._

It started as a normal day for Angel. He kicked some demonic ass, foiled a villainous plot or three, and saved the damsel in distress; all without messing up his hair.

Whoopee.

So imagine his surprise when upon arriving at his office, Angel was greeted by the sight of one Cordelia Chase tearing apart his office. The already messy filing cabinet was a wreck, papers strewn all over the place. Her desk was upended (the chair Gods know where, but possibly outside if the shattered window was any indication), the coffee-maker in pieces, and a steak was shoved through a rather life-like doll of Wesley.

Edging his way past Hurricane Cordelia, he made his way into his office, thankful to find it relatively unharmed. There were bits of glass laying about from where a high heel shoe had been introduced to the glass part of the door, but other then that it was fine.

He found Wesley huddled under his desk, clutching a cross and muttering prayers.

"Wes... What the hell is going on?"

Wesley shuddered. "C-Cordelia found out that I knew of a Supernatural convention that was on a few days ago. I did not tell her about it and now..." He gestured feebly towards the ruin that was their office. "Well, you see how she took it."

"A convention." Angel peered down at the ex-watcher. "There's more to this story, so continue."

"W-ell," Wesley paused. He quickly peeked out from behind the desk to see if Cordelia had noticed Angel yet. "It turns out that Chuck the Prophet was there. He's the author of the book series that is chronicling the Winchesters lives, so he was doing a Q and A with fans and meeting them. I got that far into telling her about it before she attacked me with a compact mirror."

"Hm." Angel glanced around the room and noticed, to his horror, that Cordelia had finally sensed his presence. She was storming towards his room, a rolled up magazine clutched in one hand, the other brandishing a lethal looking pencil. "Might want to stay down, Wesley."

The ex-watcher "Eep"-ed as Cordelia burst through the door.

"Angel! Have you _seen_ what Wesley didn't tell us about?!" She hissed Wesley's name like it was a curse as she slammed the magazine down on Angels desk.

"No." replied Angel as he stared with worry at the pencil being brandished before him. "Uh, Cordelia? Pointy wooden object plus Vampire is _not_ a good combination."

She ignored him. "Read it."

Angel complied and turned the magazine to face him. After a few minutes of steadily building silence, he slowly turned his head and stared down at the cowering man under his desk.

"Wesley?" he asked, with a sickly sweet voice.

"Y-yes?" Wesley meeped.

"Were you aware that a certain Winchester, in his mid-twenties, tall, and puppy like, was going to be at the convention?"

There was an ominous creek from the desk as it was gripped tightly.

"Y-es?"

"Ah." There was a brief moment of silence. Then... "Cordelia?"

"Yeah?"

"Pass me that pointy sword that I have hanging on the wall over there, would you?"

**oOo**

"I just received a rather odd call." Giles said as he walked out of his office, polishing his glasses.

"Oh? Who from?" Dawn glanced up from the book in front of her, Spike sitting beside her, pretending to help her with homework.

"I'm not sure. I believe it was from Angel's office, but all I could hear was some yelps and cracking noises." He frowned, worry evident on his face.

"Ah, that would be Wesley." Willow chimed in, glancing up from the magazine before her. "Angel and Cordelia probably found out that he knew about the convention that Chuck and the Winchesters were at that he knew about but didn't tell them about it because he was worried that they would go off to it leaving him to mind the office by himself-"

She was cut off mid-ramble by Spike suddenly getting to his feet. Quickly making his way over to the weapons cabinet, he grabbed a broadsword and started to leave the room.

"Where are you going?" Giles asked, bewildered.

Pausing dramatically by the door, Spike smirked maliciously. "I'm off to finish wot the Poofster and Queen C began." He stalked out the door.

* * *

Wesley Wyndam Pryce's screams of terror and pain rang out through the streets of L.A. Til early dawn. He learned his lesson.

Never hide things from obsessive fans.

Eventually they forgave him, but only after he bought each of them their own copies of the complete Supernatural book series.


	5. Febuary Issue

A/N: Poor Chuck... I just couldn't resist putting the Ghostfacers in this one.

Sorry about the really late update. I was on a trip in the UK and then work was chaos. Still is, in fact.

On another note, I would like to thank Cory for the lovely review. Always love hearing what people think of this fic. :) How about some more reviews people? But no worries, even if you don't review (**sighs dramatically)** I shall still continue this. Onwards!

**February Issue**

_In which Chuck feels his fans love (or not)_

_And Ghostfacers gossip._

The Prophet Chuck (aka Chuck Shurley, aka That Idiot Over There, better known as Carver Edlund), let out a great big sigh. Ever since finding out that his so called fictional characters were real and that he, _he_, was the next Great Prophet who was protected by an Arch Angel, life had been hell.

Well...

Not entirely. Sure, he still had crippling headaches and horrific visions of what was happening to Sam and Dean Winchester, but he had recently learned the depth of his fans obsession.

A few days ago he had received a mysterious letter. Inside there was a fan letter (always glad to hear from the fans) and a check. The check, at first, had stunned him. He hadn't seen that many zeros in... well, ever. But the letter had quickly helped him get over his shock.

On the nice crisp paper (scented with some feminine perfume) was a beautifully written death threat. Essentially, if he didn't start publishing the books again, he was going to be hunted down by a girl who called herself the Slayer and her group of friends (called the Scoobies, and boy if that didn't cause massive Scooby Doo flashbacks).

The letter had ended with a too cheerful smiley face.

Okay, so life _was_ Hell. With the capital H.

So here he was, desperately attempting to contact the Winchesters and apologize before they noticed the newly published **Supernatural: Resurrection** novels.

No matter what Sam and Dean threatened him with, a girl who wrote letters like that was far more terrifying.

**oOo**

Spike giggled. Actually full out femininely giggled. The Apocalypse was coming.

Er, yet again.

In his hands he clutched not only the latest volume of **Supernatural: Resurrection** (for some _unknown _reason the author had been publishing a book a week since receiving an _inspiring_ fan letter), but also a copy of the latest **Paranormal Monthly** magazine.

This months issue, according to the front cover, had an exclusive interview with two men who got to hunt with the Winchesters twice. The article supposedly had all the dirt to dish and secret little things the guys had learned about the brothers.

So here he was, giddily making his way to the Magic Shop where the Scoobies were gathered. Entering, he meandered over to where the freedom fighters were gathered around a table, seriously discussing some new development in the paranormal world. Buffy glanced up from the map before her and grinned.

"Oo! The latest book?" She cheerfully hopped over to Spike and pried the novel from his grasp. Relinquishing it to her, he quickly took her vacated spot and started to read the article.

_Hm... Ghostfacers..._

Willow peered over his shoulder. "Look kinda like Andrew, don't they?"

Spike shuddered. Well, that ruined this issue for him.

**oOo**

Angel frowned as he studied the material before him. Hunched over his desk, he zoned out everything as he made sure to commit to memory the text before him. His life could depend on it!

So engrossed was he, Angel failed to notice when Wesley limped into his office, his heavily bandaged hands carrying a mug o' blood.

Edging his way over to the vampire, Wesley placed the mug down beside him as he tried to make out what Angel was reading. It looked rather like...

"Is that the latest Winchester Report?" Wesley cocked his head as he peered down at the paper.

Angel shifted slightly as he reached out for the mug. Taking a sip, he shrugged.

"Ah," Wesley said. "I hear that the Ghostfacers hate the Winchesters. Used this magazine as a chance to promote their show and insult the Winchesters."

Angel 'Hmm'-ed, clearly zoned out as he kept his focus on the magazine.

Wesley frowned. "You're not even listening to me, are you?"

Angel 'Hmm'-ed again, trailing his finger down the text before him.

"Wesley Rules, Angel Sucks."

The same reaction. Nothing.

"Well, this is bloody boring." Wesley frowned as he spun and stalked out of the room. It seemed like Angel was going to have to wait to read the latest Supernatural book.

Oblivious to the existence of a new book, Angel smirked into his mug 'o' blood. As soon as he finished reading about Sam's adventures with the idiotic Ghostfacers, he was going to remind Wesley about how much more kick ass he was.


End file.
